Carelessness - an explanation.

I often write in a style, not always deliberately, which allows for individual interpretation. Part of the power of the piece then comes from within the reader's experience, emotion and imagination and is often very different from its genesis.

This piece is about the loss of a father, mine, and though still alive somewhere, I had no contact. There is a tendency to blame yourself even if subconsciously, hence 'my carelessness’.

The references in the poem are specific to me and not obvious to the reader. For example, 'Towpath angel' refers to that early memory in 'Canal' and 'Critical Office' is to my father’s office where I had my last traumatic interview shortly after I was 21.

Many years ago I read 'Families and how to survive them' by John Cleese and Robin Skynner. From it I found that we instinctively form associations and friendships with those we have communality, however tenuous. It seems logical and it applies equally to those who are socially isolate and have little in common; they will cleave together. I realised that, of the few friends I had at the time, a good number were estranged from one parent or the other. I wrote this poem to explore this communality and in its original form the ending was different.

“Something between zero chance and common choice
My friends

Somewhat broken these glue free lives.”

So why did I change it? – I have moved on, my father is now dead, there was no reconciliation, and I do not think the communality is the same any more. I left a hint contained in the last line by the word ‘our’.